Opening Thoughts
If you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself. -Some villain or pissed off character in a movie
This is a line we’ve all heard before. The typical scenario is when something hasn’t gone according to plan or a plot is thwarted by the hero.
In fact, I remember these very same words being directed towards me at my very first internship. 21 year old Abu had limited experience working in an office or professional environment. This was a time in my life where my positive attitude and personable nature was offset by my competency – or complete lack thereof. However, this is a story for another day 😉.
The aforementioned quote is basically a cliche at this point, but if you look at it from the lens of someone pursuing a goal and undergoing the necessary growth required to achieve it, then it becomes a subtle peek into the mind of someone with absolute confidence in themselves.
No matter how many times a villain has their plans disrupted by the protagonist, they never lose faith in themselves.
They never start questioning if they are smart enough to outwit their enemies.
They never start questioning whether they are capable taking over the world.
If plan Q didn’t work, they are already working on plan R, S, and T (queue the alphabet jingle 🎵).
Whatever flaws said villain may have, such as being evil (no biggy), one flaw they don’t deal with is a lack of self-trust. Typically, the villain is the catalyst for the hero’s growth. The hero is usually the one who lacks self-trust at the beginning of their journey but grows over time as they overcome challenges and remain committed to achieving their goals (saving the world).
This article isn’t about heroes and villains, it’s about truth, justice, and …just kidding 😅. Let’s talk about self-trust, what it does and doesn’t look like, and how we can develop it (and by extension ourselves).
Trust Me Bro
Self-trust as it pertains to achieving my goals is a new thing for me, I only just developed it recently. It feels as if I’ve broken through a mental hurdle that’s been holding me back my entire life. It was a hurdle that I always fantasized about being able to jump over but never believed was ever a true possibility, only a dream.
Developing self-trust has opened several doors for me as well as creating a new mindset – the unlimited mindset. We’ll discuss this new power in a future article. These doors are different paths I can undertake but they all lead to the same place – a fulfilling life. Specifically, these paths are basically different businesses I can launch or projects I can pursue that I find exciting and have the potential to allow me to sustain myself doing something I’m passionate about. The doors are also new pathways to connection with people, I’ve found myself becoming more self-assured and more of a leader, more willing to stand out – even if it comes with some potential awkwardness.
We all have different opportunities presented to us throughout our lives. However, we either don’t recognized them in time or are too nervous to pursue them. I’m not going to shame anyone for following a basic human instinct – self-preservation. This instinct is deeply ingrained within us and has allowed us to come this far as a species. However, the next version of you, the version that has grown to the next level (i.e. level 2, 3 etc.), is standing just outside your comfort zone by acting on one (or more) of these possibilities.
Lost At Sea
We touched briefly on what self-trust feels like and the opportunities that arise from possessing it. Before we delve deeper into the possibilities, lets go over what life is like without self-trust.
The absence of self-trust is akin to being stranded in the middle of the ocean on a poorly built wooden raft. You are at the mercy of the ocean’s whims and emotions. You are constantly getting swept into a storm that’s threatening to capsize your entire life, or trapped in an endless watery desert, unsure of which way is north or if you’ll ever reach land.
In other words, you become rudderless. You lack direction and conviction.
This is why so many people find themselves flip-flopping from one thing to the next, always chasing a dream while running away from the necessary and tiring work that puts your mind and body to sleep at the end of the day.
This state is also what makes people more susceptible to being taking advantage of by people promising to have the secret sauce to achieve your goals in 90 days – all for a “small” price.
I won’t pretend to be above it. This was me just last year. Like many new entrepreneurs, I had fallen victim to shiny object syndrome. I wanted to get to the money as fast as possible. I bounced from one side hustle to the next. At one point convincing myself that juggle seven ventures at once would maximize my chances of success. This is a long and expensive year, bad timing given the increase in our cost of living but I didn’t want to give up at the time just because things were getting tight financially. I wanted to see things to the end but I kept switching directions every month and not truly sticking to anything long enough to overcome the inevitable hurdles of starting a business.
At some point along the way as I was collecting experience points (i.e. flip flopping 🩴) I ended up getting scammed myself and i’m still paying the price for it. However, because I’ve developed more self-trust this year I’ve taken the experience as a learning lesson and realized that I was also running away from the grind.
What lead to my failure last year was the belief that I could outsmart the grind and outsource the pain by hiring others, cool idea but I didn’t do proper (or any) due diligence which lead to me picking the wrong people. I had limited capacity (money) for making mistakes and I ended up making way too many.
I didn’t believe in myself, which in hindsight, was reasonable. I hadn’t tried being an entrepreneur before and was bound to make mistakes. I also didn’t know what skills I should prioritize or what vision I had for my life outside of wanting financial independence. These doubts were not missed by the mindsent, because of my lack of experience it ended up playing a prominent role in my decision making.
Lacking self-trust manifests itself as the mindsent speaking through a microphone at all hours of the day. It’s always delineating all the ways things can go wrong and why you should be worried.
You find yourself always looking for the path of least resistance, the quickest path to your destination. What I learned firsthand was that eventually you’ll reach a cliff with your goals right on the other side. There’s a bridge that connects the two cliffs but you have to pay the toll, either a large some of money or with sweat.
Paying The Toll
By the time I reached this cliff (which we’ll call the cliff of clarity), paying the toll with cash was no longer an option because I had already spent it before even reaching it. Eventually, I realized that I needed to start over again because I was never able (or willing at the time to be honest with myself) to build a solid foundation. I was willing to hire and put my faith in others but I wasn’t willing to have faith in myself. This is the around the time that I implemented the 15-Minute Workday. Those 15 minutes not only became the foundation of my life but were also the building blocks of my self-trust. They were the catalyst for my growth and the shift in my mindset that made me feel and behave like a winner.
Whatever goal you are trying to achieve, you have to be willing to do the work. Specifically, you have to be forward-thinking and prioritize long term success. It’s very tempting to skip steps but that only gives you the illusion of progress. Eventually, a day will come where you might have to step back from the cliff of clarity because your foundation is tenuous.
Thought Process
Let’s get into some tangible steps on building self-trust before closing this out.
- Identify the goal you want to pursue
- Create a map or timeline for the designated milestones
- Realize you don’t need to be an expert or be perfect, we all start from the same place…the beginning
- Give yourself a minimum of 6 months to get closer to your goal
- Focus on consistent progress on a predetermined schedule (key tenant of the 15-Minute Workday)
- Grow as a person
- Repeat steps 5 and 6 until you’ve achieved your goal
Closing Thoughts
Having self-trust ultimately boils down to having consistency in your life and decision making process. It means not comparing yourself to others and feeling bad about yourself. It allows you to have more general gratitude because you become more aware of the things you have and the things you’re working towards. It allows you to be more present and appreciate the beauty of life.
I know I sound very idyllic but I’m not trying to sound cool or philosophical. In recent months I’ve gained a lot more clarity in life and have became more aware of things I took for granted like my health. Going to the gym three times a week have been part of my routine for several months now and it’s reminded me not to take life for granted.
Yes, I’m motivated by wanting a better future and I’m also aware that life is short. We can’t appreciate today if we’re overly focused on tomorrow.
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