Opening Thoughts
Thump. Thump. Thump.
“Ayo left! Left!”
“Switch!”
“I got ball!”
Through my glasses, my eyes are following the game. Taking in the skill, athleticism, teamwork, and confidence being displayed by these hoopers.
The quick crossover used to get by their defender.
The quick hands that led to a steal, a fastbreak, and an explosive dunk on the other end of the court.
The contested shot that went into the basket due to the player’s deliberate usage of pump fakes, footwork, and timing.
My head is turning from side to side as these players move at a speed that made it feel like I was taking a mugshot. The crime? (PWIF) Playing while incapacitated by fear.
With each made basket, my heart would beat a little faster because my turn was coming up soon. Each breath would gradually require more effort until breathing eventually became a manual process rather than a subconscious one. Similar to a video game character inflicted with poison, my stamina slowly and constantly drained over time. The anticipation (fear) had a parasitic relationship with my energy reserves.
“That’s game!”
It was my turn next (😨) and I slowly walked onto my court.
It was the kind of walk where you felt every step, each contact with earth sending a vibration through your spine.
You felt the sun beating down on you. Staring confused and intently, trying to ascertain why this fool was even here in the first place.
You felt the sweat running down your forehead, even though you were seated the whole time.
You felt the size difference between yourself and everyone else who resembled athletes in peak physical condition.
What you felt most was your heart beating faster and faster. The fear in your mind putting pedal to the metal. The RPMs would destroy your engine (heart) if you didn’t shift into a higher gear (mindset).
On the first play of the game I got the ball and immediate panic set in. I passed to the first person my rattled brain registered.
After receiving the pass from me, the player looked at me with a sense of surprise and gratitude. Passing is a fundamental part of good teamwork in most instances (ball movement)…but not when you pass it to the other team 😞 (this is called a turnover). He sprinted down the opposite end of the court and emphatically dunked the ball, hanging on the rim and relishing this moment.
The game pretty much ended for me after that possession. I continued to hustle and play defense but I never got the ball back on offense. My teammates knew they couldn’t trust me. Especially when I didn’t trust myself.
In The Lab 👨🏽🔬
Fast forward a dozen years later. Thanks to the combo of a new job and discounts offered by landlords fearing an exodus out the city, I moved into a fancy apartment building, living in a highrise with a basketball court and gym all within the facility (this would one day turn into a cage).
It had been almost a decade at this point since I played basketball with any regularity. I had adapted a more sedentary lifestyle. Outside of my saturday morning strolls, my main form of exercise was walking to and from the train station for work, sometimes getting off a stop early to push my physical limits.
Moving into a setting facilitated spontaneous jolts of motivations (pretending to be LeBron James for 20 minutes) led to the creation of a new routine in which I would shoot around during my lunch break (I was working from home at this time). This led to practicing on the basketball court twice a day at times, along with the games played by building residents throughout the week.
During this two year time period, I practiced with an enthusiasm, dedication, consistency, and urgency that felt like I was trying to make up for lost time. I slowly got better and more confident as other players acknowledged my growth and as I found myself holding my own against increasing levels of competition.
I still wasn’t Lebron James, but I was a more confident and decisive player. I was no longer playing with a sense of guilt. The voices in my head (the mindsent) telling me I suck and should be ashamed of myself, had gone as quiet as the home crowd after witnessing the opposing team make the game-winning basket.
I was no longer playing with a bedeviling fear and leaving after only a fear games because PWIF would cause my body to hemorrhage stamina.
I was making better decisions.
I was making contested shots (at times).
I was playing defense that led to steals and points for my team.
I was playing at my own pace, unrattled by the moment.
After almost two years of consistent practice and play, my vision became sharper and my mind became clearer. The game had slowed down.
Keeping The Ball Moving
I no longer live in that fancy high rise. My time there had its highs and lows but I moved out of that apartment complex a wiser, healthier, more confident, and more focused version of myself.
I’ve since played some pickup games at the park in my new neighborhood (cue the Fresh Prince theme 🕺🏽) and the experience this time around is much different from a decade ago.
I’m more expressive when playing (jokingly screeching at myself for missed layups or pumping my chest after making a good play).
I’m more communicative when playing (calling out defensive breakdowns or engaging in strategic trash talk 😎).
I’m more decisive when playing (no longer hesitating to shoot, pass, or dribble the ball).
This has resulted in me getting the ball consistently throughout the game and getting more opportunities to create positive plays for the team. Even when mistakes are made on my part, I no longer overthink it or let it impact my future decisions. I’m learn from it and move on.
Life Is A Game (of basketball)
In many ways, my basketball journey is a reflection of my personal journey. For the record, I’m not that good, I’m slightly above average (at best). But that is exactly why this adventure has become a living mantra and a symbol of the type of hooper (person) I am at this game. It’s provided evidence and insight into what my playstyle (mindset) is during the course of the game (life).
Looking back, one small thing I’ve always been proud of is that I walked onto the court.
Even though I didn’t think I was good enough, I played the game.
Even with my heart pounding and my mind racing, I played the game.
Even with mistakes made at the beginning and immediately ruining my shaky confidence at the time, I played the game.
Even though I would leave after only a few games (PWIF), I played the game.
This continuous exposure is what eventually led to my growth as a player and as a person. This experience is one I harken on in other areas of my life when I’m stepping onto a different court.
Rather than playing the game of basketball, I’m playing the game of starting a business (yay!).
I’m playing the game of failing to grow a business (feels bad).
I’m playing the game of revisiting the drawing board (put me in couch 😤).
I’m playing the game of trying again (yay?).
I’m playing the game of overcoming my fears (mindsent).
I’m playing the game of growing as a person (it was worth it).
Playoffs?! I’m Just Trying To Win A Game
Many sports leagues, have a regular season and a postseason (playoffs). The regular season determines the rankings of each team at it’s conclusion and who qualifies for the playoffs. The last team standing at the end of the playoffs is usually crowned the champion.
Life is similar to this construct but it isn’t a closed system (only a specific amount of teams) or a zero-sum game (winner takes all). In fact, this viewpoint typically leads to a scarcity mindset.
This may be a hot take, but there are definitely winners and losers in life.
Those distinctions are as much self-imposed as they are determined by society. A lot of people look at life from the perspective of it being a zero-sum game and being more akin to an individual sport rather than being a team-sport. Many great players have uttered the phrase “I can’t do it by myself”.
Winning or losing comes down to either closing a chapter (pivoting) or closing the book (quitting).
The winners are the ones who tried.
The winners are the ones who failed.
The winners are the ones who tried again.
The winners are the ones who failed again.
The winners are the ones who show up for themselves.
The winners are the ones who show up for others when needed (within reason, it shouldn’t come at your expense).
The winners are the ones who are proud of what they see in the mirror.
The game of basketball has solidified those teachings for me in the game of life. Winning looks different for every player (person), for every team (household or department), and for every sport (goal).
Winning could be getting married to an amazing partner.
Winning could be starting that new business or project.
Winning could be getting in better shape.
Winning could be getting a new job or promotion.
Winning could be putting yourself out there more and meeting new people.
Winning could be achieving any one or all of the above. Some people are focused on crossing the finish line while others are more focused on the progress bar.
Closing Thoughts
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
–Gretzky
No matter what sport you’re playing (your goal), you won’t “win” if you don’t play the game. You have to step onto the court (or arena). The more you expose yourself to that wall or mental block that hinders your judgement and performance, the opportunities you give yourself to make positive (or negative) plays. The more acclimated you become to the game’s speed, the more your game develops. The more your skillset and mindset broaden as you expand your comfort zone and become less rattled by the moment (the waterbugs).
There’s a saying for people in sports who’ve achieved a certain level of calm by hitting the intersection of their understanding of the game (experience) aligning with their preparation for it (skillset). This is a feeling of time almost freezing like a camera letting in the light for just a brief moment. Rendering each microsecond into a frame. You’re able to process plays (decisions), dissect them and determine the best course of action in order to score (achieve a milestone). Your body is in sync with your mind as it innately responds to all the instances of you stepping onto the court regardless of your previous inhibitions. The doubting voices in your mind are silent as they wait in anticipation for the play to develop and your body operates on pure (trained) instinct.
Some call it hitting your stride, but more commonly the announcers will say…
That’s the game slowing down for you.
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