Opening Thoughts
“I’ll go visit my friend when I get my first client”.
“I’ll go visit my family when I get my first client”.
“I’ll go on a trip after I get my first client”.
“I’ll shave after I get my first client”.
“I’ll play basketball again after I get my first client”.
“I’ll be successful after I get my first client”.
“I’ll be happy after I get my first client”.
Does it sound familiar? Attaching a reward to the achievement of “success” (specifically a desired outcome). If you’ve ever found yourself pursuing a goal, then you’ve likely settled into this way of thinking at some point along your journey.
I’ll do [insert activity or thing that makes you happy] when I [accomplish goal that could take a while].
This was my mindset in 2023. The first year and time in my life that I decided to pursue my dream of being an entrepreneur. The year started out exciting as I took my first step past a wall that’s blocked this path for over a decade (yes, really). This wall is in the middle of the deepest part of your consciousness, the part were your hopes and dreams are born and often die, so deep it often manifests itself within an abyss that absorbs all light around it like a black hole.
At the beginning of the year, I went “Monk Mode” as they call it on social media (things move fast, this may already be old lingo 👴🏽). I thought that by focusing on only one thing (my goal of being an entrepreneur) and sacrificing everything else in my life for a full year, I’d achieve my goal by December (🥳). The plan made perfect sense. There was no way I’d fail because I was special (🤪) my luck would go Super Saiyan and carry me past any troublesome obstacles and my journey would be quick and painless!
Unfortunately life didn’t go according to plan…
Yes, extremely shocking. Who could have imagined that doing something hard was…hard? My thought process was headed in the right direction (bars 🧨) but there were flaws in that thinking that would only be internalized by good ole fashioned experience. I started off full on energy and enthusiasm in January, unaware I was heading down a road of anxiety, fear, paralysis, and burnout. By December my optimism and sense of purpose were nowhere to be found. The only remains were the shell of person, living aimlessly and moving lethargically.
Breaking The Wall
Zoooom. Chaga chaga chooo. Zing. 🎼
That’s the sound of a time machine taking us back in time to December of 2022.
The story begins similarly for everyone that dreams of being their own boss. We reach a tipping point with ours and likely don’t appreciate the lack of appreciation. Or maybe we are blindsided (or not) by getting fired from our job and view it as a sign to do our own thing.
My story starts off no differently from yours. After said encounter, I came to realize that I needed to re-evaluate my options and what direction I wanted to go in.
This was the holiday season but I wasn’t feeling very festive. I was frustrated. Replaying the encounter like a broken cassette tape (are you old enough to remember that 👴🏽) and letting it fester in my mind. It become crystalized to me at that moment that I would not be getting promoted next year. My efforts were not appreciated.
After lingering in front of the TV for a couple of days and scrolling through social media, I came across a comment that talked about someone having difficulty making it to their medical appointments. This sparked an idea for me, a business idea. I spent the next couple of weeks going into the new year obsessing and refining this idea.
I told friends and family about it to get their feedback. This was the first step into the abyss, overcoming the fear of putting something (myself) out into the ether. I created a logo and a mini website. This was another step, that gave my idea a full identity. I created a pitch deck on powerpoint and started practicing my elevator pitch, recording myself to see my supernatural presentation skills (turns out I sound weird 😑).
Skip forward a couple months and I was a millionaire💰.
Sadly no, but during the course of this montage I had a mini bout with what I thought was anxiety. As some self-imposed deadlines started approaching, my mindsent kept asking me “Are you really going to do this?”. My response was always “Yes, I’m really doing it”. This conversation repeated for several days as if time would restart every couple of hours. I head to keep reminding myself this was something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
At the climax, after several days of battle, with my mind racing and my heart beating aggressively, hard enough to remind me to breath, I felt a change within myself. This was as much a psychological sensation as it was a physical one. It felt like an invisible cloth had been ripped off me. Imagine moving around under a thin blanket for so long you accept it as a part of you. But in reality, this blanket has been encumbering your thoughts and movement for your entire life. The wall was torn down. Without realizing it, I had taken small steps along this journey deeper into the abyss. I had expanded my comfort zone. When I explained this weird scenario to my cousin, a freelancer, he told me, “You only have to go through it once. Now you’re always going to be focused on the next move or idea”.
He was right, shortly after taking a step back and re-evaluating my situation. I decided that I shouldn’t reinvent the wheel (starting an entire business from scratch) and should examine pre-existing business models in order to move things along faster (and cheaper 😉).
After breaking past the wall, I was ready to pursue this journey sincerely for the first time in my life.
A Thousand Cuts
I’ve made several mistakes along this journey (still making them 💪🏽) but the biggest mistake was not operating sustainably. This manifested itself in several ways.
First, as seen at the very beginning of this article, I tied my happiness level (and the little things that bring me joy) to the achievement of a goal. This isn’t inherently a bad thing but it has an insidious effect on your psyche if you don’t implement this approach correctly.
Second, I failed to come up with a day-to-day process. I didn’t create an environment that was conducive to productivity and relied solely on motivation. Anything short of maximum productivity and 10 hours of grinding everyday would be a direct reflection of my lack of conviction.
The combination of these two thought processes led me down a path of continuous daily failure. We’ve all had things that didn’t work out in our lives (friendships, relationships, job opportunities, etc.) but imagine unintentionally creating a system where you are reminded of this disappointment everyday. It’s a death by a thousand cuts.
My naivety led to me underestimating the difficulty of getting that evasive first client. I’ve heard people says it’s the hardest part of business but you don’t realize the true difficulty until you try it for yourself.
Everyday that I failed at getting that client, I continued to deprive myself of the simple pleasures that often make life beautiful. The little things that bring you joy and keep you going. The happy moments that counter the nadirs of the game of life.
Everyday that I failed to create a system that worked for me, I feel deeper into a new abyss and eventually slammed head first into a new wall.
Each time I didn’t wake up at 4:00am, work until 8:00 am, get back from work at 7:00 pm and immediately work until 1:00 am, and repeat this everyday for an entire year was a testament of my lack of conviction.
I didn’t want it bad enough.
There were people who were outworking me. There were people with more money and entire teams at their disposal to outwork me. The only thing I had was hard work and I wasn’t even doing that right.
I was unhappy everyday.
I was a failure everyday.
Sunday Night
By April of 2024 things hadn’t changed much, a friend of mine invited me over for a quick weekend trip. I was initially hesitant to go but relented and made the trip to see them. I didn’t realize it at the time but this turned out to be a pivotal moment. A change of scenery was desperately needed along with its corresponding dose of positive energy. By Sunday night I was back home in bed and thought to myself “I’m going to wake up a little early tomorrow and work of this business again for 15 minutes”. This was in response to me hitting a crossroad, which is almost every week you’re trying to building something, and my response at the time was to overthink it and become overwhelmed. I’d basically freeze for days (if not weeks) at a time and do nothing but sink deeper into the abyss because my guilt was eating at me like Prometheus becoming bird food after stealing some fire (hope) from Zeus.
That minor decision led me down a new and more sustainable path that I call the 15-Minute workday. I repeated this decision for three consecutive days and by day three I felt amazing. All the pent up anxiety, fear, and lethargy had dissipated. Retraining myself to focus on small consistent actions every day was the key to me establish self-trust. It was the key to me establishing self-confidencing. It was the foundation that allowed me to create a system that was conducive to productivity.
I became more focused on the process and incremental improvements I was making rather then purely on the results and trying to get to the destination as quickly as possible. I knew that I needed to be consistent enough for my efforts to be tangible and patient enough for all the work to compound over time.
The impact of one small decision on a sunday night has had major ramifications of my growth and trajectory.
Better With Time
When I first started this journey of building something, I tied my happiness to the achievement of a desired outcome. This desired outcome was my initial definition of success. I’ve since redefined what success looks like to me. In previous articles, I’ve mentioned that it derives from consistency and is separate from the desired outcome. Knowing that you’re taking the right steps everday towards your goal is a comforting and rewarding feeling in itself, even if you still have a ways to go before getting the results you want. This mindset is crucial to operating sustainably. Knowing that you’re already successful and are on a long journey incentivises you enjoy the moments the arise. You become are aware that depriving yourself of the little things only hurts you and isn’t sustainable.
You don’t need to wait until after you achieve your goal to visit your friend.
You don’t need to wait until after you achieve your goal to visit your family.
You don’t need to wait until after you achieve your goal to go on that trip.
Everyone has their own definition of success and I would encourage you to think what success looks like for you. It is a certain amount of money being made or saved up? It is a certain lifestyle you want to live? It is losing a certain amount of weight? Or is it being more at peace with yourself (or others depending on the nature of certain relationship).
Power of Convenience
The second mistake I made was not thinking in terms of systems and leveraging the power of convenience. That sunday night, I declared a small attainable goal. That was to wake up a little early and work on my business for just 15 minutes.
After several days of this, I created a mini winning streak.
After several weeks of this, I created a habit.
After several months of this, I created a foundation for myself to build upon.
Those 15 minutes have changed overtime as I experiment with a lot of the variables in my day-to-day. Now I’m waking up around 5:00 am everyday and dedicating a full hour to my latest endeavor. Taking my time to make breakfast at home and even show up to work almost 45 minutes early (so I can leave at 5 on the dot without sticking out 🥸).
Because of this new routine, I’m no longer anxious. I’m no longer succumbing to a crippling sense of guilt because I’m not grinding 12 hours a day.
I’ve discovered my playstyle, which is having a longer time horizon and constantly chipping away at the goal instead of it chipping away at me.
I’m no longer relying on willpower. I’m relying on muscle memory. My home had become a place with that I associate with peace and progress.
Building The Foundation
Because, I’ve transformed into a consistent and more patient person. I’m no longer associating happiness with the achievement of a desired outcome. This journey of building a business is important but is ultimately just one facet of my life. I also value my health, so I’m working out (sometimes) and going for bike rides. I also value my relations, so I’m visiting friends and family. The people who care about you don’t care necessary about your desired achievements. They probably just want to be able to spend time with you because life is short.
Closing Thoughts
Be consistent in the pursuit of your endeavor because showing up everyday IS success. Be proud of the little steps into the abyss that your taking but don’t run because there are many walls (layers) in the abyss.
Then go visit your friend because you already are successful.
Then go visit your family because you already are successful.
Then go on that trip because you already are successful.
Then go shave because you already are successful.
You are aware that the journey isn’t a short one but life is, neither of which have to be miserable.
Show up → Play the game → Profit 🤑
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